Overcoming Overwhelm- It’s Not What You Think
You can’t outwork overwhelm. But you can work through it. It all starts with managing your mind.
I used to think that overwhelm came from all the things on my to-do list. The anxiety I was feeling was because of my work, employee issues, endless meetings, household chores, kids' schedules, kids in general, lack of time, working out, etc. However, none of that was actually causing my overwhelm.
It was coming from my thoughts of:
“There’s no way I can get all of this done.”
“I have way too much to do.”
“Everyone needs something from me.”
“I don’t have enough time."
These thoughts were causing me to feel anxious. When I was feeling anxious, I would either run around like a chicken with my head cut off or freeze and want to curl up, do nothing, and avoid it. When your brain is feeling anxious it is not in a rational state. You can’t believe what your brain is telling you because it isn’t doing the math correctly.
When I thought “I don’t have enough time”. I would feel anxious and shut down or avoid what was making me anxious. Except the irony is that by doing this I was creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of not having enough time.
First: Figure out what you are thinking. Ask yourself "What is the thought that is making me feel overwhelmed?" An example would be “I don’t have enough time.”
Second: Find a new thought you can think of instead. Ask yourself, "What could I choose to think that makes me feel better?"
This could be “I have enough time”. Note that oftentimes switching to the opposite of what you currently are thinking is not something your brain will believe. So you may want to start by picking a thought that is in between. For example, “I know when I calm down, I will see that I have enough time.”
When you are feeling overwhelmed throughout most of your day, it can be hard to see the thoughts that are creating that feeling. When I have a client who is feeling overwhelmed, I help them recognize their thoughts and find ways to feel calm and focused. It isn’t by changing what they have going on but by changing how they are thinking.
